My first reaction to the psychologist that analyzed me and told me “you have a burn-out” was….sorry but I don’t have time for a burn-out, I have too much to do.
Welcome and thank you for taking the time reading my blog Burnoutofthebox.com
My name is Marcel (1976) and I’m suffering from anxiety since I was a little kid, this had a very big impact in my life, especially in my youth, but it also made me the strong person I’m today. This site is not about what a horrible life I had, because that is not true, I love my life. This blog is about how we can utilize positive thinking and getting a more satisfied life.
In the spring of 2016 I thought I had everything under control. I’m a control freak and following for years the GTD methodology from David Allen and that keeps me in control. But on a sunny Friday morning I was at work sitting behind my laptop and suddenly started to cry and couldn’t stop…..that day I went home and it changed my life for good.
Summary of the situation before that Spring Friday morning in 2016:
- Earlier that year I got promoted to COO for the company I’m working for. A listed Internet company with 350 FTE’s. Responsible for all markets in Europe.
- Traveling each week to one of our offices in Europe and sometimes twice a week. Making around 50 flights a year
- 26 people are reporting to me and started to have the feeling I can’t give them all the support I want – I just don’t have enough hours in a day.
- I worked 24/7 and forgot to take breaks
- Together with my wife I have three lovely kids
- During Saturdays I’m the coach of my son’s soccer team
- I’m a drumming in a power metal band and we rehears every week, flexible timing during my busy travel scheme
Weeks before the burn-out analysis I got very clear “signals” but I just ignored them because I was too busy with work and other things, and this is what I learned, the worst thing you can do, ignoring the clear signals that you need to take breaks.
Clear signals I got
- Sleepless nights
- Bad concentration
- Dizziness
- Headaches (everyday)
- Nervous
- Emotional, while watching movies, even Disney movies I watched together with the kids
- Muscle pain in my back
- Shaking hands
- Panic attacks
- Each morning I woke up I had the feeling to retch
I clearly needed a break and needed someone to take that decision for me, someone who pulled the so called “Handbrake”. After that sunny Friday morning at work, my HR director took that decision for me, which I’m very grateful of. What I told her when she sent me home, is “I make one promise, I will come back much stronger”.
After the diagnose burn-out I started to blame others and that is not good. You shouldn’t blame others then yourself if you come in such a situation. That was one of the best learning’s and was the basis for my strong come back. I accepted the situation and told myself, Marcel you are not the only one with a burn-out so don’t be ashamed. You will come back much stronger, but only if you change your behavior, don’t expect that others will change for you. It is only your behavior change that you can control.
“If you do the same thing all over you get the same results”
What I did to get back stronger?
- I accepted the situation and accepted it is ok to request others for help
- I told myself that I should not feel sorry for myself and stay in bed the whole day and cry and blame others
- I promised myself that is should take max 1 month to get back; I took 3 weeks of sick leave. I already tried to come back after one week but that was a bad decision
- I did 5 sessions with a psychologist who taught me everything about cognitive behavior
- I read a lot of books in these three weeks
- I started to read articles about burn-out, anxiety and positive psychology
- I walked a lot, not the usual running. 3 times a week I walked between 5 to 10k and in the end I even did a 23k walk from my home to the beach and back
- I created a “positive Spotify” playlist I listen to while walking
- Each day I did a routine based on the GTD methodology and the 5 min journal. I still do this each day and report back in my Evernote. Each morning I start my day with writing down the most important goals for that day and at least three things I’m grateful of
- Each morning I start with a 10 minutes breathing mediation
- Started to use “Flip-thinking” and learned to accept things I can’t change
- I created mood boards and mood cards to remind me of my goals and learning’s
- Started to use daily affirmations
I can tell you that a couple of months later I felt great and I’m very proud of the chosen path I ‘walked’ into.
The purpose of my blog is to explain you more about my journey and my thought about living a positive lifestyle and how to recover from a burn-out
Please join me in the journey and I hope it can change your life in a positive way as well.
Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash
